There's so much to talk about and so little time to.

All i have to say is that i've been meaning to blog about this topic for a rather elongated piece of time now but i've always not remembered.I want to type out music, talentime still being so fresh in my mind. What is music to you? I spose this can be a premonition of my next post.

and the other thing is:

Teh Yi Yun. Death isnt as easily thought about as that. Stop it with the "i suck" thing because its so plain you don't. Hell a lot of people know 104 wont be 104 without you! =) And i'll bet you, the waterfalls love you like crazy, save a few bo chupers. You've made a difference in all our lifes ohkaee. And mine too. So so so so SO much. In ways you dont even know. Life isnt as bleak as you think it is.

I've never said this, i never dared to. God loves you. He died for your sins. In so many ways we suck do we not? But there's someone who loves us wholly and truly. He's the Lord. You were created in His image, so dont do anything silly. He knows how many hairs there are on your head, how sorry for yourself you feel inside. But He still loves you. Alright? If you need someone to save you..



Someone is always there. Jesus

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 9:38 pm

Troy i by any means an awesome movie. As good as Lord of the Rings i'd say. And Lord of the Rings was among the best movies i've seen. So go and catch troy, then you can join the we love achilles fan club. haha. WLAFC. How do you pronounce that? Yeah, how do you? Sometimes i wonder what the limit to my lame-ness is. gah. Lame-ness limit. hahahaahah. I'd bet you many people would impose that on me. Maybe because i have such a cornnnny-gag of a brother. wait. Who, influenced who? This is creepy.

I must be getting annoyed too easily. Ah. moodddy. Must be all those songs.And all those people.whyamisuchapushover?is that a character flaw? is it? is it???

Anyway, assembly time, i was going frission all over for that roger guy. I can picture people staring at me like i'm this exodeser from the mental institude. no, i am not thick nor am i mental. why. do. i. have. this. sinking. feeling. that. no. one. no. one. is. going. to. believe. that?

But the show was good. Lord of the flies. ohkaee. Maybe it was average. I didnt identify with anyone in the show. I'm so unique that i SO cannot be one in four people. egoist. fms[which means female chauvanist sow in case you were thinking of other stuff..].

This post is stupid. but i'm feeling conky now. Who wants immortality anyway. brrrrrrrrradpitt||you have your way i have mine. I respect yours.

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 8:14 pm

Then i sink deeper and deeper. This beeg dark abbys of nothingness. When I dunnoe where it starts. I don't care where it ends. Personally, I know I don't exactly appreciate what's happening to me now. I don't know. Whats knowladge without character right? Gandi is stirring in his grave, agreeing with me wholeheartly.


I write about death and suicide;

Nails painted black, hair dyed.

You think you know me.



I hide behind red jelloed bangs;

Or loud laugh and long blond mane.

You think you know me.



Taking chances, dares, and dirty jokes;

Dreaming in my tree house.

You think you know me.



Meditation, crystals, and candles;

Big black boots and Birkenstock sandals.

You think you know me.



I break your rules;

But I have my own.

You think you know me.



My friends hurt;

And I care.

You think you know me.



Ravel moves my soul;

Kronos pushes my horizons.

You think you know me.



Solitary walks. Secret places;

I am many spaces, many faces.

YOU DON'T KNOW ME!



How can you know me?

I barely know myself.


I dont like people. People who proclaim to be not prefect when they are. They say its alright, you did fine, really. Before they go to someone with a much higher grade and say, aiya, my marks so low! These hypocritical morons, facaded with layers and layers of masks. Well, this one person anyway. Me. Because on the surface I pretend to be friendly, nice, smiling little thing. Everyone just expects me to keep up the pretense. Forever. Its not right when I'm not they way you want me to be right?

Now, just shut that pretty irritating trap. You annoy me with the laughs and smiles that weren't meant to be.

Take it off. Take it off. I will be a poser no longer. I'll keep on trying anyway. You never knew that i totally respect(NOT) you right? You dont. Because your heads is high up in the clouds. You're all that-NOT. Get it off. Friend, i can't stand you no longer. Keep tht jacka** mouth of yours shut in my face.

I hate you. There isn't any reason. If there was, it might be jealously. But thats because i'm trying to find a stupid reason to why i totally disrespect you now.

[I'm screwed.][I know its wrong to curse. But your face is vulgar. Terribly.]

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 1:48 pm

Life just contridicts itself too many times. And i'm tired of figuring what the solution is to all these ironies. Faitigued and weary. You can bring me down.

Life is a bed of roses. Who remembered that roses had torns?

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 4:21 pm

i dont like the new blogger look. in fact i postitively hate it. and blogger if you are reading this, i think the old look was much much better. if not, its just stubborn me resistant to change.

oh yeah. there is now a comments function because i felt that intruders are somehow lacking in this blog. so you an hem and haw and rannnnt there:milky way- if you feel the urge. haha. yes. just DO IT!.

i'm becoming some brand freak here.

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 4:43 pm

Sing to the dawn

It is a good book. And awesome show. Shumin's singing was power and the songs were superbly nice :))))))))) Yeah. Good job done. Although some parts werent really accurate and true to the book, so i was quite fustrated about how they twisted the sensitive story to become such and amusing musical. And yeah, i know i laughed but the story isnt supposed to be read this way. To be put this way and to be sung this way. I think they didnt put enough effort in to potray the parts where Dawan met with her stuggles.

When Noi set the birds free. That was the part where my misgivings about the show started to creep in. The birds weren't supposed to fly so freely. They were trapped and they didnt know the world about them. In a way i agree with Dawan's cousin. And the abbot. Maybe learning so much wasnt a good thing. But education in all its pursose points us towards a goal driven life. To teach us things that may make up our dreams and aspirations in our later years. Why does Dawan and Kwai want to learn? Or is it just Dawan and Noi and all the other village girls? All of them wanting freedom from the prejudice and biasness in the man-sided society. Is Kwai just resentful that it was HIS own sister that stole his place? No, i dont see anything wrong with working in the fields and giving rice to the landlord. The landlord owns the land. It is HIS/HER right, not the villages. Hah, i have this to say. If you arent happy, move out. Its not a problem at all. No, it isnt.

There are so many idioscrynicies in the play that i just get fed up at watching it. And shame too when i heard the laughter of the RI and RGS girls at the abbot. Listen: You have to respect others decision before they can respect yours. And i hardly disagree with what the abbot says. Look, buddisim has good philosophies and theorys that i find no fault in. But what i see lacking in the religion of buddisim is the problem of sin. There is not benchmark for us to measure what is right and what is wrong.

The thing about Christianity today is that it is becoming to comercialized. Some people even take the religion and beliefs as something hip and trendy and its the 'wow' thing to become a Christian nowadays. No. Dont listen to those american evanglisits. Ohkaee, justice done, they have some good things to say. But watch. They just ask you to end of with the sinners prayer. HAH. it so does not mean that saying the sinners prayer equals becoming a Christian. The speaker today morn was good. I think i shan't skip service so often. Or by any means, try not to skip it at all. Hah, i just while away the time at home when i can have a fufiling and enlightening speech in church. I shouldnt waste stupid precious time.

Ladeda. People just wont learn. And i'll never get to fully enjoy a good musical until i meet someone who has a passion for the arts and can enjoy it as much as i can. And i'll never start enjoying a play until Singaporeans learn where the switch-off button is. i guess i should learn to take it easy and relax. lol, i always tell people that. But somehow i just cant get it myself.

One day you will die. And when you finally realize it, you'll live your life differently from the way you are living it today. The way society deems whats hip and cool and 'wowing' just makes me feel sorry that i'm living in it.

get a life people. live the way God wants you to.

and yes andrea. if you havent already realized that i'm extremely pissed with you. for talking too much during a please-keep-quiet-because-this-is-a-soft-spoken-musical-that-has-a-lot-of-emotion-and-tears-in-it. will you please shut up? and not you. the so many others out there. AH. but i still enjoyed it. this proves that the show was amazing.Also andrea, in response to the i know too little guys thing in your blog, i'm sorry. I do. perhaps more than you even. And while i was boy-frenzing there, its because you bored me to death. for the people who curse me because i'm too short. haha. being short is a blessing. being tall is a curse. if i grow taller, its natural. if i dont :)))))) because i'm estatic about my height.

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 10:24 pm

I have a lot to say. A crazy lengthy speech. And i know if i were to speak about it, it would be in the bath at night and end up with me not knowing which were tears or just plain tap water rolling down my cheeks.

but THAT is not the point i am trying to emphaize here. No, its hardly. I'm just wondering, when you take a look at this world, what do you see? Unfulfiled lifes, dreams and aspirations. Ambitions that take years and years of sweat and toil. Buckets of blood and bone. And then when they finally reach the pinnical, whats left of them? They're too busy with their lifes to make out whats left of the people around them. They lose so they dig themselves a tunnel of work-so they'll never escape, never have time to think of their past mistakes. And by doing that they, or we even, think we can escape and illusion ourselves from reality. Everyday i see people on the street, rushing of to work and to school-myself included-not taking precious time to savour the flavours this world has to offer us.

Ironic dont you think? When scientist are busy trying to find a cure for cancer and aids, to lengthen the lifes of these disease inflicted paitents, that they inadvertly destory their own. Soon they'll realize that what they found isnt a cure, but a grave full of meaningless things that cling to your past. And what you really need to ask yourself is: What do i want in life? And what are the implications of my choice?

Truth is, many people think they know what they want-i am no exception- but we forget and fumble along the way. What happens? A lot of us end up regretting the actions we've taken and the time we've wasted. Sometimes i do have doubts. And i'm such a hypocrite. Till times i really hate myself.

Did you ever reflect on the implications of having no God, no Creator? That we are just people who evolved from the theory of Darwinism. Then what purpose would we have on this planet, us being just influences of nature. Humans would not be anything much, more just beings and animals, here in this earth for the sole purpose of the course of nature. But we exploit it. And we destroy it. We learn and learn as we grow but in the end we die, we decay and rot and become beings of the earth. This is a rather morbid and end-of-days thought. I'm not a depressionist.

Can you deny that there is something spiritual about this world? This planet- earth. Do you sincerly believe the evolution has taken place? I'm very sorry to say, but athesim has not much place. And i know God is here with me from all the evidence that i have gathered.

The emptiness and chasing of dreams that will one day fly away is gone. From me at least. Because my cup runeth over with God above. And i'm filled with passion for His word.

Are you empty?

prayer;praise;promises`_____ 10:53 pm